Today’s email was all about strategies you can use in your settlement negotiations to keep the size of the exit payment down. There’s also much you can learn from the many books out there on the art of negotiation. I’ve taken the time to read what the experts in the field have to say and here I’ve summarised a few of their key messages for you:

In Negotiation Genius, Deepak Malhotra and Max Bazerman, both academics at Harvard Business School, suggest you should know your ‘BATNA’ – the best alternative to a negotiated agreement – at the outset. This is your escape route if the negotiation turns sour. In an employment situation, this might be putting the employee through your formal disciplinary or performance management process.

They also say you should determine your ‘RV’ – your reservation value – at the outset. This is the least favourable point at which you'll accept a deal (broadly, the most you’ll pay).

You also need to work out the employee’s own BATNA (e.g. taking you to a tribunal) and their RV (the lowest you think they will accept). You can then identify the ‘ZOPA’ – the zone of possible agreement. This is the range within which both parties can find an acceptable deal.

As Michael Fisher stresses in his book Getting to Yes, conflicts too often turn into trench warfare. Both parties defend their initial position fiercely and only make concessions if they must. Instead of searching for a good solution together, each wants to win or at least avoid an embarrassing defeat.

This usually results in an open battle, which costs a lot of time and energy. Even worse, both sides often take unnecessarily extreme positions because they expect to have to make concessions. In fact, this results in longer and more painful arguments.

Instead of trench warfare, try and find common ground. Acknowledge areas of agreement (such as confidentiality or helping the employee find a new job) and try and create a collaborative environment for discussing areas of disagreement.

In his book, Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss, a former FBI negotiator, recommends mirroring, which is copying another person’s behaviour or words. When you repeat the employee’s words, they feel you ‘get them.’ They feel you’re similar to them, which generates trust and encourages them to talk.

Chris Voss also talks about the importance of ‘finding the black swan and using it to your advantage’.

Until the seventeenth century, black swans were thought to be mythical creatures. In a negotiation context, they are now a metaphor for the discovery of something unexpected. There will of course be information about the employee that you know – like their name. But there are also things you don’t know. These are the black swans, or unknown unknowns.

There are a couple of techniques you can use to make black swans visible. First off, ask lots of questions and be attentive to the non-verbal cues they may trigger. Second, negotiate in person. You can’t get important, deep information through email because people can control how much they reveal in writing and you get no idea of tone or body language.

Discovering a black swan gives you leverage. If you learn what the employee truly wants, you can ask for what you want in return. Or you may realise they fear something, like damage to their reputation or career, which you can use to your advantage.